Because my mother was also a sent-down girl , like Xiu Xiu, and badly affected by the experience of going to the countryside, and because my mother has told me, time and again, that the government will do things that don’t always make sense to the people, I would be wary of pushing too hard against the Communist Party.
My mother was hardened by her experience, and lost some of her idealism. This loss has been communicated to me – and she has taught me how to hide my true feelings, but to keep the flame burning in my heart.
I will NOT participate in the protests -- I am only 13 and my parents strictly limit my activities. (I am not free to roam, like many of the students demontrating there).
While my heart will be with the protesters, I believe my mother and father when they tell me that the Party will do whatever it must to retain control of the people -- and that can not be good for the people protesting in the Square.
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It's hard to imagine being a 13-year-old Chinese girl in 1986, isn't it? Your blog is believable, though. I think most young girls at that age would not have participated in the demonstrations, but they would have been excited by the prospect of political freedom.
I agree, on all counts.
(For that matter, it's hard for me, 50 years later, to imagine being a 13 year old boy. And, Icertainly don't think I was was conscious of the greater issues of our time and society. (But, then, my family certainly wasn't, either.)
It's particularly hard for me to imagine a 13 year-old of either sex being allowed to participate in such an undertaking by parents who had survived the preceding decades.
But when there's a "wave" it can be hard to resist riding it ;-). In this country, a lot of kids will do what they want to do whether they have their parents' permission or not. I don't know if it wouldn't be the same in China with this particular situation. Good post, Walt.
"While my heart will be with the protesters, I believe my mother and father when they tell me that the Party will do whatever it must to retain control of the people -- and that can not be good for the people protesting in the Square."
I agree with you, Walter. My heart would have been witht he protestors as well and as I got older, more than my heart would have been there.
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